wedding family stress

Wedding Designer, Wedding Planner - Both or ???

If you are planning a wedding chances are you are speaking to and negotiating with lots of different companies. Hopefully, to help you stay sane you’re considering a wedding planner or designer. So, what is the actual difference between a wedding planner and a wedding designer?

If you want to enlist some help when you start planning your wedding would you benefit from having both or are they actually interchangeable?

It’s likely that the tasks they perform will have an element of overlap, but it’s also the case that they each have a very different focus and the initial brief that you give them will be based on this.

Let's take a closer look at each, so that you can decide where the best place would be for you to invest your money to help you make your day a memorable occasion for all of the right reasons.

What does a wedding planner do?

In this case it’s all in the name, a wedding planner is going to be there right from the start with you, helping to plan each aspect of your wedding.



A priority within their role is to take the pressure off of the two of you, to help reduce your stress and anxiety levels, suggest ideas, make trusted recommendations and help with your budgets and give advice on pricing too.

Wedding planners will stick with you right through the process and be present on your wedding day too. They will be helping to ensure that everyone is where they need to be and at the right times so that the day goes as smoothly as possible (notice I didn’t say perfectly :) ).

Most wedding planners will be able to help with the following areas:

·   Reviewing your budget, breaking it down, allocating chunks of your budget to different areas of your wedding, and reception, based on your priorities as well as average market pricing in your area.

·   Creating checklists so that everyone knows what needs to be done and by when.

·   Liaising with pro team members and venues.

·   Set up and removal of different elements on the big day.

·   And of course – management of everything on the day from ensuring everyone in the wedding party knows what they need to do and where they need to be, through to guest management, pro team liaison and any troubleshooting and problem solving too.

 

A wedding full service planner will often put in hundreds of hours of their time into your wedding day, they will know you as a couple inside and out and be on hand to support you each step of the way, resolving as many issues and problems as they can for you.

Although you will come to your own agreement with your wedding planner over what they are responsible for and when you can contact them, you should think of them as your right-hand person who is there to support you in every way possible.

What does a wedding designer do?

In a nutshell a wedding designer is there to help you with the aesthetics of your wedding – bringing your wedding to life through color, props, and layout.

They are going to help you to wow your guests with how your wedding and reception is laid out and the items that you choose to utilize on this day. This could be helping you to finalize a color palette, designing centerpieces for your tables, or sourcing that one ‘wow’ element that you have visualized but need help to bring to life.

A wedding designer’s role has very little to do with the overall planning of the wedding. The role of a designer is purely aesthetic - a wedding designer creates a cohesive feel and your desired atmosphere. They’ll offer guidance on fabrics, textures, color palettes, props, furniture, and all décor elements.

Most wedding designers will be able to help with the following areas:

·   Finalizing your color palette.

·   Recommending trusted pro team members.

·   Designing table layouts and centerpieces.

·   They may be able to provide linens, chair covers and embellishments.

·   Sourcing of props and oversight of installation and take down.

·   Making sure the aesthetic vision you had for your wedding comes to life.

A wedding designer can help to remove the stress of all those final preparations and the on day set up of your wedding.

They may also be able to save you a considerable amount of money by being able to recommend reliable, trustworthy pro teams, and when it comes to any props, chair covers and embellishments they may have a variety that you can rent which will be perfect for your day and save you the expense of purchasing.

Should you hire a Wedding Designer?

  • Is the décor and atmosphere of your wedding is important to you

  • Would like someone creative involved who is able to take a blank canvas and turn it into the space you imagined

  • You want someone to be wholly responsible for decorating the event space for your wedding.

  • You’re looking for ornate or difficult to source props or equipment.

  • You have a specific, detailed theme in mind and need help developing and executing it.

…then hiring a wedding designer may just be for you. Typically due to the nature of their work they tend to book up quite early on so we would recommend sourcing your wedding designer as far as 12 months before your wedding day. This will also give your chosen supplier time to source any obscure or unique items for the day.

In Summary…

Whilst there is an area of overlap between a wedding planning and a wedding designer, they have very different roles to play when it comes to the planning and execution of your wedding.

Deciding on the level of help you want to invest in will depend on a number of things including how much of the planning you want to do yourself, how much time you have to invest in planning your wedding, how creative you are and of course the budget that you are working with.

 You could opt to work with just one, both or neither – the choice is all yours but hopefully you now feel armed with the information that can help you to make an informed decision.

And if you do decide to higher a wedding planner, please reach out! We’d love to help!!




7 Do's And Don'ts To Planning A Wedding During Covid

This pandemic knocked the world on its butt. Basically overnight everything changed. Tons of stuff was outright cancelled or postponed to a TBD date. This included tons of couples weddings. I personally had 2 weddings cancel, 3 postpone indefinitely and countless others chose not to move forward with planning their weddings. I’ll be honest, it broke my heart. My couples plan for months, years even - saving money, picking out the details and making all the plans - and this all came to a screeching halt.

We’ve adjusted to a during pandemic “normal” and now we have an idea as to what steps we need to take to plan a wedding during Covid (and what we steps we need to not take).

  1. Do keep planning

    Things may not look like they once did (for a little while), but you need to keep planning. Vendors will have less time on their schedules for new clients as they navigate through all the rescheduled events. And check out virtual wedding shows in your area. Don’t know what a virtual wedding show is - check out this post “What is a Virtual Wedding Show”?.

  2. Do hire a planner

    I know this may not be in your budget, but please look at hiring a coordinator, wedding manager or planner. They are keeping track of all the executive orders, rules and mandates and can advise you the best course of action to take. They also know how to work out a physically distanced ceremony and reception, how to implement the safety measures and can advise you on options to keep your family, friends, guests and vendors safe.

  3. Do read your contracts and ask questions about postponement policies

    This one is important. Review each and every contract (especially if you don’t have a planner). Take a super close look at the postponement and cancellation policies. If something is unclear or doesn’t seem to be covered ask questions before you sign.

  4. Be flexible

    This one will be hard, because it seems that mandates regarding weddings change from week to week, heck even day to day. But, being flexible will enable you to roll with those changes versus being sidelined by them and unable to proceed with planning.

  5. Don’t send out save the dates

    Not knowing what the future holds, don’t send out save the dates. Your family and friends will stress about needing to make a long term decision. You’ll stress because you asked people to come and now have to go back and tell them that you can’t accommodate them. If you still want to let people know about your wedding add it to your wedding website or your social media platforms.

  6. Don’t break the local mandates, rules and regulations

    Even if your venue says your wedding is a private event and the rules don’t apply to you, don’t break the rules, orders or mandates for your area. All it takes is one different interpretation of those mandates and your wedding could be closed down, fined or labeled a super-spreader event.

  7. Don’t give up on your dream

    While things may look different, don’t give up on your dream - marrying your best friend, with your closest, most important family and friends surrounding you, wearing a killer outfit, having an amazing meal with the most gorgeous pictures and video to look at can still be had. Go after it.

You’ve got this! I have confidence in you and your vendors to make your wedding everything you dreamed and you’ll have an amazing story to share over drinks :)

2019 Year In Review

I know that everyone says this, but wow, 2019 seems to have flown by! Going into the 10th year of business, I had the privilege of being part of so many events this last year! 11 weddings, 2 styled events, a handful of personal events and 1 charity event that is dear to my heart. Whew!

First up was our sping styled event. I love this event because I get to chose every single element, from the colors to the style to every tiny detail - navy and gold with geometric touches, yes, please!!

When your daughter asks for a Wonder Woman party, you give her the absolute best Wonder Woman party ever complete with a super hero obstacle course and you can’t be a super hero without the accessories!

Caitlin and Colin were married in the spring at the gorgeous Sanctuary Camelback Mountain and happened to be our first wedding off the season. These two missed their own wedding rehearsal to search for their sweet puppy that made a break for it as they were on their way to the resort. Best news ever, just as we were wrapping up, we received a message that the puppy had been found!

It has been a privilege to participate in the annual Tables That Bloom event for the 5th year running. Every year there is a different theme that the best designers in the valley get to try and bring to life. This year it was to “Live Life In Full Bloom”. Put on by the Gamma Delta Foundation to benefit the Foundation for Blind Children, we look forward to creating an amazing design with the always fabulous PJ’s Flowers and Events. This year we were at the gorgeous McCormick Ranch Golf Course in Scottsdale, Arizona with our table - “Moments”.

Arizona is one of those places that when it’s beautiful it’s beautiful and when it’s hot, well we just don’t go outside. Other than the heat, the weather is usually pretty mild. But then there was that one night, let’s just say that the wind was vicious and the tents went tumbling head over heels. Good thing Jacquelyn and Andrew had Sweet I Do’s on their side!

The day after the wind storm of 2019 (who needs sleep!) we were over at Desert Foothills for the rustic wedding of Kayla and Cameron. The danced the night away and I think drank all the Jack Daniel’s in the valley, plus they had their adorable puppy Ruger with them!

We don’t do many candy buffets any more, but when we do, we do them big and fun! Addison was celebrating her 9th birthday Greatest Showman style. What do you think of our circus themed candy and treat table?

Our last wedding for the first part of the 2019 season was for Enisa and Mike! They got married at Starfire Golf Club and celebrated with friends and family at Legacy Ballroom. The weather was a fickle one this year and the power went out at Starfire a few hours before ceremony start time. No power means no air conditioning. The staff and I went into crisis management mode and the guests were made comfortable, had loads of water and shade and just minutes before we were supposed to walk down the aisle the power came back on.

June brought our 2nd styled event of the year. Yellow always makes me feel happy! Thanks again to our fabulous floral partner PJ’s Flowers & Events!

Summer is usually pretty slow for me in Arizona, partly on purpose so I can spend time with the kiddos when they’re out of school and partly becuase no one wants to get married in Arizona when it’s 115* outside. I do have one conference that I have helped coordinate for a couple of years now. It’s for an amazing group of women that travel from all over to spend a weekend together. We laugh, we cry, we jump in the pool with a gigantic unicorn named Eunice… This year’s theme took us back to high school…

The first wedding of the fall season was a very intimate wedding reception for Elise and Sean. They were married in San Diego and had a small celebration at Paige Springs Cellars (if you haven’t been there, go! now!!! and thank me later).

Our second (and last) candy buffet of the year was for Nicole and Tyler on a referral from Anthem Country Club (where we are a preferred vendor (just saying)). They love salty and spicy treats mixed with a little sugar just for fun! The best displays are when couples bring their tastes into it!!!

Nicole and Tyler Anthem Country Club Sweet I Do's Salty, Spicy and Sweet Wedding Candy Buffet Sweet I Do's Wedding Management Specialist Anthem Arizona.jpg

When your venue sets up a fun new display the day before your wedding, you embrace the fun! Melinda and Matthew were married under the fish installment at the Desert Botanical Gardens. One of my favorite images is the happy couple with the happy bunny installation!

Right after our wedding at DBG was our first double wedding weekend! First, we celebrated the night away with Gabby and Jon at the gorgeous Four Seasons Resort. Our first full flip in 10 years and the staff was amazing and executed the plan flawlessly! And seriously, that desert background is like nothing else in the world!

The following day we celebrated with Michelle and Ben at The Clayton House! It was a day filled with family and all the drama sisters can bring, as well as all the memories and moments that family can bring as they toasted, danced and celebrated late into the night!

Photo - Ryanobull Photography

Next weekend brought us to the Shemer Art Center for Hannah and Brian. When you bring together 200 of your closest family and friends at one of the most unique museums in the valley you get one heck of a party!

While the fabulous Miranda was caring for Hannah and Brian, I was celebrating with Elizabeth and Ryan at the Farm at South Mountain! I adore when couples bring parts of themselves into the wedding and Elizaabeth hand-drew all of the place card posters and created all of the centerpieces and flowers for her and Ryan’s amazing wedding day! It was a great wedding to end the season with!

Photo - The Pros

All in all it was another amazing year, filled with love, laugher, learning and growing! Will you be on our 2020 Year in Review?

4 Reasons You Should Hire Professionals (and let Uncle Bob attend as a guest)

I get it, truly I do. Getting married can be expensive. You will probably experience sticker shock at least once during the planning process. And it may be tempting, especially if you have any well meaning family members or friends that “do (insert product/service you are looking for)” as a hobby or maybe even “professionally”, to save a few dollars and either ask for or take them up on an offer for a hugely discounted or free product/service.

9 times out of 10 THIS WILL BE A MISTAKE. Why? I’m so glad you asked!

You’re Not A Client

I’ll say it again for those in the back. You are not a real client with a contract to protect you and the person providing the service. A contract can be the single most important thing you will receive from your vendor team. It will detail out what they will provide, what you need to provide, when it will be provided and it provides you with protection in case they don’t show up or perform according to the terms of the contract.

You’re Not A Client (Again)

We have a tendency to not have as high of expectations from family and friends as we do a complete stranger. We also tend to not want to be as aggressive and self-serving when it comes time to ask for the things we truly want. And family and friends tend to think that because you are family or friends that it’s okay to not be as on, as complete, as on time, as professional, as honest as they would be with a stranger. After all you still have to sit across the table from each other at Thanksgiving or see each other at work or spend time socially together after the wedding.

Your Venue May Not Allow Non-Professional Vendors

This is a big one, especially anything to do with food, music and flowers. A professional vendor is typically defined as someone with a business license and more importantly general liability insurance with a minimum of $1,000,000.00 in coverage. Most hobbyists don’t carry insurance and aren’t operating a true “business” (reporting income, paying taxes, registering with the proper agencies, etc.).

They Have No Backup

Have you ever asked someone to house sit and the day before have them say something came up and they can’t help you out? Have you ever asked Cousin Sue to make cookies for a party and have to throw them in the trash because they look (and taste) terrible? Have you every asked someone to help set up tables and chairs at Thanksgiving and have them get there late (with no warning)? No big deal in these situations, but on your wedding day, it could be a disaster. Running late, not showing up, bringing inedible food are all things that (typically) don’t happen with a professional unless it is life or death. And even then, a professional will have a network of other professionals to take care of you.

Reality Check

That picture at the beginning of this article really happened at a wedding I coordinated. I didn’t know until the day before that the client was self-tenting their reception space. I was assured that it would be okay, that additional sandbags would be used to anchor the tent. And I was counting on the weather to be typical Arizona weather and be gorgeous. Between a freak wind storm and a non-professionally staked tent, the picture above was the situation we had on our hands about 2 hours into the reception. The professionals that were on hand helped handle it and we took the entire structure down to ensure that we didn’t have any injuries due to flying tent pieces. But could this whole thing have been avoided by hiring a team to install the tent - you bet!

5 Tough Wedding Day Questions Answered

Sweet I Do's Wedding Management Specialist Phoenix Arizona Frustrated Bride.jpg

You’re planning your wedding, minding your own business and then from out of left field you come across something that doesn’t seem quite right. Or even better, you’re asked a question by a well meaning family member or guest and you aren’t sure how to respond. Sweet I Do’s has been doing this wedding thing for almost 10 years and we have the answers to 5 of the toughest wedding day questions, ever!

Can we bring our kids to your wedding (and you don’t want them to be there)?

The answer is simply, no. But nothing is simple in this minefield of a question. You don’t want to be the bad guy and tell everyone, no or get flak from actually daring to say you want an adults only wedding.

It’s okay, just say that due to venue restrictions you just can’t have any children at the reception. No one needs to know that those venue restrictions are coming from your personal preferences.

If you continue to get pressure to allow the kiddos, then state that your event insurance doesn’t allow for children at an event where alcohol will be served (this one only works if your wedding will actually have alcohol served).

If you are having your own kids or immediate family member kids only, then tell inquiring minds just that. The only children at the wedding will be immediate family.

Compromise - If you can swing it in your budget, you can offer to have a licensed and insured sitting service provide on-site care in a different area of the venue.

Is it okay to only serve beer and wine?

The answer is, yes, it is perfectly okay to only serve beer and wine at your wedding. We understand that alcohol can be expensive and having 100+ people drink for a few hours can cost big $$$$. Just don’t try and pull one over on your guests and have a secret stash of a little something for just you and your partner. It tough on the bartenders to have to tell people over and over that that particular thing is only for you.

We want all the money!! Can we just tell guests to bring cold, hard cash for our gift?

No! No, you may not. First, you never get to assume that someone will bring a gift to your wedding (they should, but you know abut that whole assuming thing). Second, while we have changed a lot of traditions with regards to weddings, asking for cash is just rude in any situation. People aren’t stupid. Create a small registry for the die hard gift givers and everyone else will get the idea - no honey fund or cute poem needed.

Plus ones, yay or nay?

This one is really hard for me. I’m of the opinion that no one should get to define another persons relationship status, level of commitment or ability to handle social situations. Trying to draw the line at married or not, number of years in a relationship, playboy or playgirl tendencies or how well they know and will interact with other people at your wedding is stressful and not something I think you should do. Just speaking from the heart here. Plan your guest list to give everyone a plus one. While I know it isn’t ideal to have potential strangers at your wedding, I promise unless it is a super intimate wedding, you won’t have time (or eyes) for anyone but the love of your life.

I’m not really close with my (insert family member here). Do I have to do the traditional wedding “things” with them?

No, you don’t HAVE to do anything. It is your wedding day. If you have talked about it with your partner and you both are on the same page, then do things your way. Having a wedding planner or wedding day manager will help make this situation go smoothly and no one will be the wiser. Our goal is to make sure that your day fits your vision and that you have all the best memories!

Have a question that we missed? Let us know!

5 Reasons You NEED To Plan On Doing A First Look

You’ve met with your photographer for your wedding day and they ask if you want to do a first look (or maybe they don’t ask (sigh), which is another blog post entirely). Before you make up your mind, check out 5 reasons this wedding day manager feels that you NEED a first look.

  1. Timing

This is probably the biggest reason I strongly recommend having a first look. If your wedding day manager or planner has worked your timeline to its fullest advantage, you would be done getting ready at virtually the same time regardless if you were planning on a first look or not. Where timing gets a little sticky is after the ceremony. The sunset waits for no wedding and getting a little behind in taking pictures after you get married means you run the risk of pushing the rest of the night into crunch mode. Having a first look means you have more time after the ceremony for whatever you need it for and you know you have amazing images from earlier in the day.

2. Calm those nerves

This is a big one as well. Even if you’ve been with your partner forever, you will still be nervous on your wedding day - nervous to be getting married, nervous being up in front of all those people, nervous seeing the love of your life on the day you pledge to be together forever. Taking those 15 minutes to just see each other, talk to each other, touch each other will make all the difference in the world. And you will still feel all the butterflies when you see each other at the end of the aisle for the first time.

3. Enjoy cocktail hour

You spent all that time picking out fabulous food and drinks for cocktail hour and then you don’t get to enjoy it. Why? Because you spend the entire cocktail hour taking pictures. Having a first look can cut that picture taking time in half (depending on when you ask your family to arrive for pictures before the ceremony). We see this as a win win situation for everyone. You get to enjoy cocktail hour, your photographer has more time to capture your wedding day and your guests can even sneak in a few extra minutes with you.

4. Photographers love the extra time

Sometimes timing just is against us and things happen - people are late, dresses don’t fit quite right, spills happen and the time that the photographer would have been able to use to capture detail images and cocktail candids gets eaten up capturing wedding portraits, wedding party and family images. By having a first look, you free up your photographer to grab all the detail shots and fun candids that happen during cocktail hour. Plus they can get creative with the time that they do have to take you to fun location and try interesting poses.

5. Venue disadvantages

You may have found a venue that only gives you a certain number of hours for your ceremony and reception and there just aren’t enough hours for everything that you want to do. Or it is a pretty place, but doesn’t have that “wow” location that you’ve always dreamed about for wedding pictures. By having a first look, you can get more bang for your buck. I know, how will scheduling a first look that takes time work in your limited time favor? Hear me out. Scheduling a first look allows you to pick the spot and decide how long you want the session to last - first date location, favorite park, water background, desert back drop, the choices are almost endless. Plus, you can take as much or as little time as you’d like (just let your wedding day manager or planner in on it so they can schedule the timeline accordingly).

I know there are a few things that may cause you to question having a first look.

It’s tradition.

You’re right, it was tradition, back when couples were part of arranged marriages and the parents of the bride didn’t want the groom to run away. All joking aside, if you are truly tied to the tradition of not seeing each other until you walk down the aisle, consider a first touch or blindfolded first look.

I won’t have that “wow” moment/feeling.

You will have that moment, promise. If you have a first look, you get to have that moment twice. Nothing will take away that feeling of seeing your beloved walking down the aisle to pledge themselves to you.

I have limited time with my photographer.

Most photographers have a time limit on their package. If you are already having them capture getting ready moments, then they will be there pre-ceremony anyway. If you are not having them there pre-ceremony because you feel you need them through the end of the reception, work with your wedding day manager or planner and shift all the must have moments to the time period before the photographer leaves for the evening. Doing this will allow your time to begin earlier and you can have that first look.

3 Things to Consider Before Hiring a "Part-Time" Wedding Vendor

Let me tell you a story. It is 4:30 in the afternoon of an amazing day.

I have a super cute couple that will be walking down the aisle at 5:00.

My assistant and I are in the reception hall setting up the final details when a friend of the bride asks me

where the flowers for the bride and bridesmaids are.

I’m slightly perplexed as I spoke with the florist and she assured me that everything was set and ready to go. I go over to the bridal suite and look around. I see a cascading orchid bouquet that is falling apart, a few individual calla lilies and not much else.

I text the florist (this is the only way she will communicate as she has a full time job that doesn’t allow her to take phone calls during the day) and ask where the bouquets are at

and I will never forget her response

“when I went to the wholesaler yesterday, the roses that the client wanted didn’t look right so I just substituted individual calla lilies instead.”

I was floored and the bride is almost in tears.

Communication was rough all along with this vendor, but for her to make the call to just change the order, without prior knowledge or agreement of the client was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

While I took up this huge mistake with the vendor I was driving to the local Trader Joe’s (this was a destination wedding) picked up some gorgeous white roses, created beautiful hand tied bouquets and my couple walked down the aisle on time (this is the main reason I highly recommend you hire a wedding coordinator by the way).

So there is a happy ending and a moral to the story.

Throughout the whole process this vendor was difficult to talk to, she could only meet on certain days, at certain times and would only communicate through text. She would not return phone calls, would not confirm details and was very unprofessional. She was a weekend warrior and didn’t take the commitment she made to clients, that paid her, very seriously. While not all part-time vendors are this egregious when it comes to taking care of clients, it does happen more often than not.

In the end my team was able to save the day, maintain the timeline and stave off tears and stress, but we shouldn’t have had to.

When choosing your vendors, don’t be afraid to ask the question – “Do you do this full time?” and if the answer is no find out what limits their job will place on their ability to do their job properly.

1. Limited availability

Part-time vendors usually can only meet when they are not working or do not have other life commitments. While all vendors will have limits to their availability most full time vendors will have ample options during the day and at night, during the week and on weekends.

2. Unable or unwilling to utilize all forms of communication

Part-time vendors usually cannot take personal phone calls while they are working their “real” job. They may also be limited as to when they can check and respond to emails and text messages. Full-time vendors can answer their phones whenever they are not with another client or working with another client and have fewer limitations as to when they can respond to email and text.

3. Unprofessional business approach

Part-time vendors have a tendency to skip the necessary items to running a business – business licenses, insurance, contracts, back up plans and staff. Full-time vendors know that they are holding your dreams in their hands and they want to ensure that you have every confidence in them and their business.

While my story had a mostly happy ending, the vendor never apologized for the stress and drama she caused. She didn't willingly refund any money. She didn't care and that is probably the hardest lesson that clients that hire part-time vendors may have to learn - some of them just don't care about their clients.

Full disclosure and reality check - I have worked with loads of "part-time" vendors, but you would never know that they were running their business part-time. They are fabulous!! At the beginning of my journey I was a "part-time" vendor, but none of my clients knew it. It has a lot to do with you as a person, how well you can handle multiple tasks and how you structure your business. I won't say that you have to steer clear of "part-time" vendors, but do your due diligence and understand exactly what you will be signing up for. 

Happy Wedding Planning!