Here comes the couple—with wishes far and wide.
While it's an incredible honor to be a wedding attendant in a close friend or family member's wedding, the role may be more expensive than you think. There are numerous monetary expenses, as well as time and energy, involved in serving as an attendant.
While most attendants genuinely appreciate the honor of standing by their loved ones at a life-changing event, many also find the entire experience stressful.
Each attendant spends about $1,200 at every wedding. If you include an outfit, alterations, pre-wedding parties and events, and presents, the cost escalates to nearly $2,000. Add travel and accommodation, and the cost may significantly go higher.
Then there's the fact that couples are often sold on the notion that their wedding is the most important day of their life. With that mindset and expectations, the lead-up to the wedding—and ensuring that everything is perfect for the couple—is frequently laden with anxiety, stress, and fear of disappointment.
Before you say yes and commit to several months of attendant duties, it is important to know what to expect financially—and mentally. Let's break down the average cost of participating in a wedding.
Attire and Alterations
A great wedding party should look cohesive and elegant, with the intent to complement the couple’s appearance and contribute to the overall wedding aesthetic with the different colors and textures of their attire.
The cost of the attendant outfit is determined by several factors, including where you buy it and the fabric used. The better the quality of the outfit, the more expensive it will be. A wedding attendant outfit typically costs between $140 and $210.
Moreover, these outfits typically require alterations to ensure a great fit. Some couples may also insist on matching shoes and accessories. The cost of these alterations and accessories can quickly add up and should be factored into the overall cost of the outfit.
Hair and Makeup
Hair and makeup rates vary significantly between small and large cities, either due to the cost of living or the popularity of the stylist. On average, fees range between $50 and $300 per service. With that in mind, prepare to shell out at least $100 for hair and makeup if this is something that you choose
Some couples choose to cover hair and makeup to express their gratitude to their friends. However, this is not always the case, especially when the wedding party is big. Every couple wants their attendants to look fantastic, but the budget may not always allow for both hair and makeup.
Pre-Wedding Events
Attendants are expected to throw different parties, including helping the parents with the engagement party, pre-wedding shower, and celebration party. That often means buying or making decorations, party favors, finger food, and treats for each occasion.
Make it a point to reduce the use of plastics at the wedding and pre-wedding events by removing unnecessary single-use plastic items and giveaways, such as plastic water bottles and lanyards, and choose reusable items instead.
Many couples choose destination celebration parties, too. While attendants aren’t expected to pay for the couple’s plane tickets, a weekend getaway can quickly burn a hole in your pocket.
Travel and Accommodation
If you're lucky, the wedding will take place near your home. However, for many, attending a wedding involves travel. This can be as little as $30 for a tank of gas or as much as $100 for a one-way train ticket, or as high as $650 for a cross-country flight.
Expect destination weddings during and post-COVID to cost even more. The number of people traveling is rising again—and so are the prices. Airline tickets and hotel rates are increasing as people return in droves for the first time since the pandemic began, excited to head to mountains and beaches or visit family and friends after over a year of being stuck at home.
Even if the wedding will be held in your hometown, many couples want to have their attendants nearby the night before the wedding. This means that most attendants are likely to pay for an overnight hotel stay.
Gifts
A personalized jewelry organizer for the bridal shower, sexy lingerie for the bachelorette party, personalized champagne flutes for the engagement party, and something else for the couple on the wedding day itself.
On average, attendants spend $125 on wedding gifts, but this may vary depending on two factors: the wedding registry and how many guests have beat you to the registry list. If you're a last-minute shopper, you may find yourself left with the most expensive options or scrambling to find a gift by yourself.
Mental and Emotional Costs
You've calculated the figures and are financially prepared to be an attendant. It's also important to be ready for the mental "expenses" that come with the job description. Throughout the planning process, you'll need to be emotionally available and supportive to help the couple realize their vision for the big day.
As an attendant, you should help keep things drama-free and diffuse any stress or tension to make things as easy and relaxed for the couple as possible. You want the couple to walk down the aisle happy and excited, not with eye bags and wrinkles caused by months of stressful preparation.
Final Thoughts
Being in a wedding may sound a little overwhelming, but it is well worth the money, time, and effort. You'll create wonderful memories as a part of your friend's big day and all the days leading up to it. While there are financial and emotional costs involved, being with your loved one during this milestone occasion is priceless.